Memories // alternative title LMM style One-Act Plays from the Fun Home

I occasionally write down interactions I have with my family to make me feel less crazy.

Inspired by Lin-Manuel Miranda’s twitter one-act plays of his and Vanessa’s interactions.


14/11/17

While staying at my Grandfathers

My Grandpop gets surprised

by what’s in his Kitchen Cupboards
once a week
G:  Is this your sieve?
Me:  No
G:  Well its not my seive
Me:  Then why’s it in your draw?
G:  I don’t know I’ve never seen it before
Me:  Grandpop, why would I bring a sieve with me?
G:  I don’t know, you young people do
all sorts of bizarre things
Me: Well its not my sieve
G: Its not MINE
G: Your mother must have brought it down
Me: Its not my Mum’s

On the Dinner I was Eating 13 November 2017 8:32pm

B: Mum burnt dinner. It was vegetables. Now its kind of, indistinguishable black masses
J: Indistinguishable black masses.
How bad can it be, huh?
B: I mean, we’ll all be indistinguishable black masses some day
J: The last time I saw a black mass I had to wipe my Bum
Those two comments sum up our relationship

Party Anecdote 14/1/18 Sunday Evening

Telephone: This is iHear Australia calling
Neighbour:   What is IKEA doing calling me?

15/1/18 Monday Dinner 7pm

The Princess Diaries
A Conversation between Mum & Fam
M: What’s that movie?
US: The Princess Diaries
M: Not the Princess Diaries …. was it ….
(long pause)
(intake of breath as with an idea)
M: was it the princess diaries?
US: the one with Anne Hathaway
M: Yeah
US:  The Princess Diaries
M:   That’s it!

15/1/18 Monday Washing Up

My Sister Cara wants to be an Assassin
Me:  Have you considered pacifism?
C:  You mean being passive-aggressive instead of actual aggressive?

16/1/18 Tuesday Breakfast

C:  What are you eating?
B:   Cereal
C:   That’s a lot of Cereal
B:   [mouth full] I have needs
C:   [didn’t hear] aged?
B:   Not AIDs; NEEDs!

17/1/18 Wednesday 10am

Cara stole my bed
C:  Can you get me pants out of my cupboard?
C:  They say POOOOOMMMMAAA
Me:  *singing* “WHEN I WAS A YOUNG WART HOG….”
C:   That’s PUMBA not PUMA
[boyfriend chimes in]
J: Jungle Book is Jungle Book
Follow me (safely, from a distance):